It didn't feel real. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. drunk, kissing. PostedNovember 9, 2014 Don't feel guilty. So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. (y) What isn't, is In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? This recently happened to me. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? Whoops. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Alcohol does not change that fact. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Amazing how long this subject has carried on. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. Hi SoulMate! There is more going on. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. Saying that, however, I note you wrote: This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. It's just a "good weekend?" I'm not married nor have I ever been married. Fear holds you back. With the other woman just across the room! Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. Well you need to figure that out and fast. New Mexico sunsets flat lands breathtaking. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. Or run away? Despite their passion during the kiss. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! Why would you want to do that? I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. I was the driver so I did not drink at all just the wto girls. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. Hi Scope! Good luck. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. , By entering this site you declare Take it away, expand if you please! When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. The moment feelings are involved then youve cheated. Three women and one guy went back. She had gone to bed. With or without the same seniority. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! What!! Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. Unforeseeable consequence. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! (Got me cracked) 24 Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. Why? Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A I believe in complete honesty, 100%. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). But I can't leave my job. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. Sentiment accepted, though. Past is something you cannot change. I say tell him. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. And, he did little favors for me. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Thinking of it over and over again will affect you mentally, and make it worse. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. What if they were married? We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. Wow! As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? But the guilt is killing me. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. He is my workmate also. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! That is what separates the women from the girls. (Sorry you got cheated on. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. lover. 2. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? I have no idea who the girl is. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Ignore the erroneous message and smile. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. It happens, in other words. It didn't feel real. Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. He never says this so I knew it was something serious. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I dont know what else to do. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. Your Drinking Behaviour. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. female I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. (That'll do me nicely! I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. 3. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. If this is bothering you, then tell him. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. What if your husband ever found out? Can you tthan please explain this? ;-) I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. My husband wasnt home at the time. I was devastated. A Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? Stories about open relationships, swinging, polyamory and other alternative relationship structures. I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. You confessed your sins. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. What is he supposed to do with this information? SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? (Ta-daaaa!) WORK. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. Press J to jump to the feed. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. So, I reluctantly confessed to getting drunk and kissing my piano teacher. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Would they be as lenient? Yes it hurts.. There's a difference between sex and kissing. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. Shes said thats it. Lets get down to the basics here. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. I'll see you over there. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Most people would never confess that's the reality. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). I just knew it. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. It happened two days ago. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university.