With karate. Jerry Seinfeld. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant in a fire truck, then what is on the outside? Funny bad jokes. When are firefighters best at getting out of the fire station quickly?In the middle of the night, when they are fast asleep. The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, The first thing were going to do is fix the dang brakes on that truck!. Why do most women only ever date one firefighter, and then swear to never do it again in their lives? When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. The firefighter was shocked when he got to know that one of his two sons had set fire to the building. Why did the fireman say that humans are like fire? A fireman kicks down the door of a house and carries the family out 1 by 1, but there is no fire. "Stop dropping rolls.". How do you put out a fire?Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief. 82.43 % / 3814 votes. A fire broke out at a cold-medicine factory on the outskirts of town thankfully, there was no congestion on the way. The children started discussing the dog's duties. Because theyre good at their jobs. If we had to choose the least funny profession, firefighters would be our top choice. Police Humor: 12 Jokes about Law Enforcement and Police Work 31. Very, very important for their health. What kind of web browser do firefighters use? I'm on fire - you wanna stop, drop and roll with me? A: Theyre used to looking at the bright side. Firetruck. Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon. "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. He charged one and let the other one off. One liner tags: attitude, communication, life. I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. The remote control slips from his hand. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Q: What sports team do firefighters root against? 2. 2. A: So they know what weight class they should be in. 1. Because theyre a real bright spark when theyre younger. Noah good joke about fire fighting? Because it would be pretty hard to fight fires when theyre barefoot. Girl in the bar: What do you do for a living?The firefighter: I make the six oclock news.. What kind of web browser do firefighters use?They use Mozilla Firefox! (Racket is another way to say something is loud). So that the noise can help to scare away the fire. Why do many fire departments keep dalmatians?Because they assist them in looking for hydrants! Army soldiers are perfectly equipped to be a firefighter. Why did the rookie fireman bring a credit card to his first day? You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires. 26. What did the directions to the fire department ladder say? They are also known as firefighters, fire-chiefs, relievers, fire wardens, fire-fighters, stokers, cinder monkeys, smoke-jumpers, engineer's helpers, attendants and firemen. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY firefighter JOKES: 1 - The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. What happened to the firefighter the 3rd time he was late to work? If you play with fire, you'll end up burnt. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. "BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. With great amazement water was pooring from the boys mouth. They use the dogs, she said firmly, to find the fire hydrant., A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. Many of the firefighter uniform puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. That's why firefighter humor is a tradition as old as fire . A: Holy smokes! We Flame To Please! 40+ Funny Fire Puns And Jokes For All Ages What happens in the Bible right after the burning bush is mentioned? But thats just a natural reaction to something we dont comprehend! It was much harder to find sexy accountants, lawyers or plumbers. Wanna slide down my pole. Clean fireman jokes and firewoman jokes for parents teachers firefighters EMTs and more. Fire away! CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. My wife was surprised when I cut the onion in the shape of a die. Flirt and start conversations with these pick up phrases to help you score that hot guy or girl! The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. These firefighter jokes are popular year round, but especially around Halloween as children like to dress up as a fireman or firewoman. Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon. ", "At this time of year, theres nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. Why did the firefighter wear his gear out to dinner? Q: Why did the rookie fireman bring a credit card to his first day? Why was the man who worked in a hydrant plant always late at his work?Because one cannot park near the place! How do you know that a firefighter is taking a break from work? What should you call a fireman who is very motivated and pumped up? A: There was a traffic JAM. A: Portland Trail BLAZERS. Whether you want to turn up the heat with fire one-liners or put out boredom fires with good flames jokes or simply enjoy the flaming humor to yourself. Q. After thanking each of the old men individually, the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money. 43 Hilarious Bbq Puns - Punstoppable Whats the difference between an arsonist and a firefighter? Why is it advised that you should always carry a fire extinguisher in your car? Turns out, good players are hard to find. Short Firefighter Jokes One liners, wit and puns, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food. How do you spot a firefighter at a neighborhood barbecue? When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." What?!? A: Smokey the Bear always walks off with them. A firefighter died one day and unfortunately went to hell. These guys were REAL fanatics about their golf. We respect your privacy. Caddie: "I don't think you'll keep your head down long enough.". As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Your love gives me heartburn. I sold my vacuum the other day. ", "I was telling a joke about a house that burned down to a firefighter the other day. The firefighter was shocked when he got to know that one of his two sons had set fire to the building.He declared, "This boy is not arson anymore!". What should one do when a firefighter offers a person two ways to leave a house?The person should always go for the ladder! The Chief and his Deputy went golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done since they were cadets 24 years ago. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. A: They both need oxygen to survive! "When I tell people that I work in the fire department, they say it is cool. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Once you are finished reading them, give the best jokes your vote and share this article with your friends! Why was the fire chief calling for more water during the fire? Why was the fire chief calling for more water during the fire?Because the fire had taken place at a sponge factory! How quickly can a forest fire start?Lightning fast! Come on, they're basically real-life heroes, rescuing kittens, helping damsels in distress, and fighting fires, among all the other things they do! A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife and said, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: "BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Why do volunteer firefighters understand the importance of milliseconds? Firefighters are known for their positivity. His mother didn't want to crush his dreams but she knew he would never be accepted. Why do firefighters wear boots with their uniform? 94 Best Funny Firefighter Quotes Humor ideas - Pinterest Why was the man arrested for pulling out five men from the burning building? What happened when the fire chief googled 'Ways to start a wildfire'? From firefighters putting out fires to firefighters rescuing kittens from trees, these jokes will have you laughing out loud. You will actually need 5 to change a light bulb. I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!. The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet. A: Because it was drawn to alight. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant in a fire truck, then what is on the outside?It is K9P! Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. How can one tell that there is a firefighter at a party?He will tell you about it. What's in the water that puts out fires?A fire boat. Clean jokes about firemen, firewomen and fire fighting. Interviewer: You're hired. Looking for funny firefighter jokes? I would not breed from this Officer. When can one say that a firefighter is down? Who do you call if you see a museum thats just caught fire? And youre so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?, No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone couldve done. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Q: Why did the firemen need ear plugs to fight a fire at the tennis equipment factory? How could the firefighters tell that their new chief was going to be stubborn? How could the firefighters tell that their new chief was going to be stubborn?He whistled Hail to the Chief whenever he walked into a room. The Fire Department of the City of New York (FDNY) is the largest Fire Department in the US. 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How do you know you might be living with a tribe of cannibals? The first known female firefighter was Molly Williams in 1818. The first firestation is built. The fireman would always get into a bit of trouble because he was a hothead! How are firemen and cops similar to each other? There are also campfire puns for kids 5 year olds boys and girls. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief. Why did the fireman resign from the department?The job was a bad match. Why were the Three Wise Men actually firemen? 80 Best Onion Puns, Jokes And One-Liners | Kidadl "No," said another. Fire Jokes - Puns And One Liners What did the fireman say at Thanksgiving dinner? These firefighter related pick up lines may just be what you are looking for. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia. Firework Jokes - Puns And One Liners Fireman Jokes One Liners - Nisura Blog 50 Jokes About Careers & Job Search - Undercover Recruiter Need Firefighter insults and jokes - Police Forums & Law Enforcement One Liners and Short Jokes What is red, white, and blue? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Firefighters celebrate all holidays throughout the year except one.It is the occasion of May Day! When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. "BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. Fire-Fighter Pickup Lines - Use These at the Fire Station! What award do you give a firefighter? (Leans in real close) That means I talk down to people. It didn't work. What did the restaurant owner say when a firefighter, a rabbi, and a policeman walked into his restaurant?He sighed and realized that his life was a joke! Q: Do firefighters have to train to jump higher than a fire hydrant? I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "Can't Approve Overtime? What happens if a firefighter throws too many housewarming parties?The police book them for arson! What happened when the fire chief googled 'Ways to start a wildfire'?He got around 100,000 matches! But recently a poll was taken And they all fell through the floor. She let him set up an interview so he could be let down slowly. The only way to inform the fire department about a fire is to call them on the hotline! Top 20 Funny Fire Hydrant Pump Puns - Best-puns.com How do you know if a firefighter is at your party? With gloves. I got fired on my first day as a car salesman. Q. Why? Thank you for all your submissions. Why was the fireman late for work during the power failure emergency? What comes after a dragon lights his birthday candles? A: It was pretty in-tents. I lava you. A: It takes four. Why do firefighters like the summer?Because they are used to the heat! What would happen if Franciscan priests became firefighters? The man with a flame tattoo on his arms got rejected from the fire station. So that cats and other animals can just go right up the same trees again. I dont understand how firefighters can trust a ladder theyre always up to something. One-Liners: Our Collection of the Best One-Liners - Reader's Digest Firefighter Jokes: The Humor That's Kept Firefighters from Killing Eac For firefighters, what does the word chaos mean? This officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up. First of all, their uniforms - no matter which country you live in, firefighters always look just a tad bit like old-fashioned astronauts, dont they? he replied, "But you're a fireman"". Start writing! Fire yourself up with these awesome jokes and puns on firefighters! How can someone get firefighters to laugh on a Monday morning?You simply have to tell them a joke on Friday evening! A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, "You have to help me, I think I'm shrinking." "Now settle down," the doctor calmly told him. Q: Why did the rookie bring his bowling ball to the fire station? This man is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot. She waited outside as she anxiously waited to watch her son in action. << We have over 150 Categories of Pick Up Lines on our Main Page! 1 line dad jokes 1 line puns 1 liner joke of the day 1 liner jokes 1 liners 10 best one liners 100 best one liners 100 funny quotes and one liners 1000 short funny jokes 101 best one liners 1950s one liners 2 line funny jokes in english 2 line jokes 2019 . Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around. "Life is a waste of time, and . A. Charles Lamb. . A: The fire MARSHALL. "Fantastic ! The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene. When a call comes in, things get real real fast. The firefighter took part in the game show and reached the final.He was comfortable in playing the game because he was in the hot seat! I just followed the instruction asking me to dice the onions. ", What comes after a dragon lights his birthday candles?The fire department. 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(Pumper is another name for a fire engine that pumps water). 25 of the best jokes and one liners by Scottish comedians Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? Q. Why should you never leave an open fire unattended? Whats the difference between an electrician and a firefighter? How to fight a fire. Why was it taking so long for the fire fighters to get to the strawberry farm? "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes - Presentation Magazine May you always be surrounded by good friends and a better barbecue. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. Firefighters do it with their hoses ! He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. Well, it turns out this esteemed profession is no exception, and here we are with our list dedicated to firefighter jokes! It's lit. A farmer call the rural fire department one day.He says, Come quick my barns on fire, my barns on fire!The dispatcher says, Calm down. These jokes are funny for parents, children, teachers, emergency pesonnel and firefighters. Why do firefighters in Greece make every fire worse? 93. Having 9-11 firefighter in my resume would make it much easier to get jobs. Q: Why did the fireman wear suspenders? When did firestations become a lot more common in the world? Military personnel share amazing one-liners from drill instructors The cop brags, I'm the fastest one out of the three. He had to be there.". I failed math so many times at school,. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. 92. 3. And some of these descriptions are not retirement jokes! Q: Why are elephants such good firefighters? All the firefighters demanded better pay and working conditions. Why does a firefighter love eating Tamale? 50+ Creative Pancake Puns That Will Make You FLIP! You could get to say that she is my new flame! Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. Clean fireman jokes and firewoman jokes for parents teachers firefighters. Utinsel. A: FireCRACKERS. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 50 Firefighter Jokes That'll Sure Spark a Laugh - ChildFun Their skin. For firefighters, what does the word chaos mean?It means that the chief has arrived on the scene! Why did the firemen need ear plugs to fight a fire at the tennis equipment factory? Fisherman = Fisherfighter. He is wearing a firemans hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. Bad jokes and one liners - so bad that they are funny I am like a firefighter Why are there no picnic baskets at fire stations?Smokey the Bear always walks off with them. What happened to the firefighter who wasn't doing well in his job?He got fired! Lynette Gamble. Q. Paramedics and EMTs can be staring down a life-or-death situation in the blink of an eye. 84.36 % / 807 votes. 4. The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren. "I dont understand how firefighters can trust a ladder Theyre always up to something. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Why did the fireman say that humans are like fire?Because if you don't give them oxygen, they die! What did the iceberg say to the incoming fireman? Why do you call a firefighter when theres a cat stuck in a tree? What sound do you hear when dragons sneeze? The firefighter took part in the game show and reached the final. Little boy, says the fireman, I dont want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dogs neck I think you could go faster., The little boy says, Youre probably right mister, but then I wouldnt have a siren!. What do the elves cook with in the kitchen? Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! They will tell you. Why dont most firefighters smoke? 24. Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". Do firefighters have to train to jump higher than a fire hydrant? Why do firefighters have a higher rate of cholesterol than other professionals? Three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change out the bulb. Funny Firefighters Quotes Fireman Sayings Phrases but apparently a poll was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor. A: He heard there was a strike team. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." See more ideas about firefighter humor, firefighter quotes, firefighter. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. Tweet. What is the type of award that one should give a firefighter? The Best Funny BBQ Quotes I've Ever Heard! You can also share the fact that Benjamin Franklin founded the first volunteer fire company in America in 1736 (in Philadelphia, PA). What sports team do firefighters root against?Portland Trail Blazers. Fireman Jokes for Kids | My Town Tutors #7. Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. A. A firefighter swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR. These jokes are funny for parents, children, teachers, emergency pesonnel and firefighters. We have collected some of the best one-liners, dad jokes, and puns that can be shared with your friends and family to wish them a happy New Year and give it a great kick-start. Q: Who rides a horse to every fire call? Q: What do firefighters surf with? Firefighter Jokes: The Humor That's Kept Firefighters from Killing Each Other for the Last 350 Years. We Didnt Start the Fire. 143 Firefighter Jokes That Are Nothing But The Best Top Funny Firefighter Puns - Best-puns.com We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Q: How are people like fires? What did he name them? If a fireman has two eyes, then how many eyes will a policeman have? We're throwing him a farewell party and want to have a funny pun written on the wall. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. Business Insider. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!". Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it. A: It was already toast when they got there. She said he was too spontaneous. Whether it's the swift one-liners of Tim Vine or Milton Jones, or a more traditionally structured joke, these quick-fire quips will have your friends rolling around on the floor. We hope you enjoy our collection of the best firefighter jokes! There are also firefighter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. This collection of jokes about firefighters is sure to bring a smile to your face. Firefighters celebrate all holidays throughout the year except one. Whats every firefighters least favorite song? I was taking care of my friend's snake while he was on vacation, but somehow it crawled into our freezer and died.