A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. It was league night, after all. He went back to sleep. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. pinterest.com. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. My lovely ex husband was irritated that I was deciding to have the child on overtime hours and he They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. Having. Hours later on July 28, Emily Jacobs, a 28-year-old . I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Awww come on, suck it up. My car, my car! he said with horror. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . Its real life, and you mustnt give up so easily. Glad she was there for you. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Sadly, this will only make things worse and nothing else. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? It was also Boxing Day so during labour, he complained that there was nothing on TV. "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. Normally, contractions begin before the water breaks. As soon as they moved me into the rooms near the nursery, he went home because he was tired and me being in labor kept him up all night. This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. . AND, it is your child too, not just his. ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. Wear sneakers. I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. I was scared. This is a very common issue, btw . I don't know if this has impacted on the way I hold my emotions, but I tend to really bottle everything up until it all becomes too much - even then though it's VERY difficult to communicate any angst or anything that's bothering me. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. Yeah right. Now this of course makes us, the people theyve invited over for a BBQ, a little uncomfortable. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. So, that's the fvcked up part. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. I had nothing with me when we went in, I didnt even consider the chance that I would be having a baby that night. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. During one particularly painful contraction, I beat my fist against the passenger door. That is almost word for word what happened to me.except that I didnt push mine outI had an emergency c-section, so I had to push a wheelchair very slowly down the hall to get to the nicu to nurse because I couldnt walk without support, and I couldnt make the wheelchair go on my own while sitting in it. I also worry about his habit when the baby comes, if he needs to unwind now it's going to get a lot worse when the baby is around as far as stress level goes. There is no pattern. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. I mean you did what she asked, right??? A. Experiencing a craving for alcohol. I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! You have a choice as an adult to enable and accept his behavior, your innocent baby does not. He needed to get directions to the hospital. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. So, instead of trying to take control of everything, just wait for them to accept that they have a problem and need help. When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). my husband decided that my induction, right as the contractions were taking off and I was getting three in a row with no break of even 3 seconds, was the BEST time possible to show my aunt an episode of Firefly. Thats it, just shut up and he was infuriated. We tackled more laundry. He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. Are you kidding me? Im late to the party but here is a story for you This, I really think that you need to convey how important it is to you and the baby, then make sure that he realizes how serious you are that you NEED a coach to help get you through this and if he is to drunk to do it then you will find someone else and he will be relegated to the waiting room. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. E had a little trouble at first and I needed stitches, so DH stayed with us until 2am before he ran home to let our dogs out to go to the bathroom and he never did tell me if he needed to clean anything up while he was there! Get this man an epidural. Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. Also I am not a screamer, and when the contractions were fierce like that, I would just lay on my side, tightly gripping the bed rail, sometimes whimpering quietly as I waited for it to pass. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. The only known and safe ways for your doctor to do it include the . Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. With our second things went pretty well. since the 4th month. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. ? My husband was trying to time my contractions to see when we should go to the hospital. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. Ask the medical staff questions. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. where do you file a complaint against a hospital; failure to pay full time and attention va code; bones angela and hodgins in jail; mirabella svadobny salon dubnica nad vahom How long has it been since you had a drink? About a month ago I asked him not to drink until after LO was here because I know it can get to the point that he should not be driving. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. Just have a rational, heart to heart talk to him when he is not stressed out. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. 7 min read. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. Nothing until we got home. I havent let him live that down. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. Then she told me to leave. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. Lets just say that he ended up spending the night in the hospital with me. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. He was only slightly better with our third. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. . I made his mom clean it up and get him into the bathroom where he passed out on the floor. What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. I have to say that he was horrified. Well, theyre in denial because they believe theyre not creating any problems due to overdrinking. I was about 100 years pregnant and ready to pop. I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? This must help. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. April 2011. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. Lol, it's not the first time it's happened. I know that if I tell him I am uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking then I know he would take me seriously. You willingly married and created a child with an annoying drunk and yethe's the stupid one. He at Popeyes and now she is here yelling bout the fact he ate. When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. of the issue and will look for a solution. Clearly this was ridiculous. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. TAKE A SHOWER NOW!!! At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. He went to smoke a cigarette before the midwife came to see me,and by the time he got back, I was already pushing. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. It is mean and very insensitive to the child. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! So, do you maintain the rage? Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. I jumped on board. Whos really stupid? Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. She thought it might go away. (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). Stand with them and help them overcome it. Then just before we were about to leave for the hospital, he looked at me and said, are you really going with your hair looking like that? . We didnt go to bed until midnight. Be there to offer encouragement for labor and delivery. He told the registering nurse, my room nurse, my midwife, my doula, ANYONE who had ears our WHOLE life story. He begrudgingly told me hed hurry. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. I dont know why I remember things like that. Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. He said he felt so guilty and was terrified he was going to get pulled over. Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? I could barely walk for a week after the c section, my normal recovery time for that is two days. Now for Baby #2I have pictures of Dad sitting in my hospital bed holding our daughter, chatting on a phone headset. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. Your DH's drinking is outside what is healthy, for him, for your relationship, and for your new family. (I don't think he would like that job much!). He did later apologize. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. All parents have had to worry about this, I am sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to help you out. Youve done this before. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. . So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. All for a free parking spot!!! If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. I will never know. July 2015 Answer . Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. Take their thoughts and opinions into consideration before you make any decisions. I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. These are all hilarious and I feel lucky that I do not have a funny story to write. Amen. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. Mortifying. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! This went on all day. I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. Pregnant . We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. husband drunk when i went into labor. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. You really, really need to talk to him about this habit. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. About 15 minutes or so later I hear my wife come in the house and call out to let me know she was home. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. Here . Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. My mom didnt kill him, just in case you wondered. He never got that chance. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. My husband was awesome! Because, he was a little bit tired. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. Unless yo ass is imoan. That's awesome! Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. These are hilarious! People with drinking problems do no slow their drinking down just "because" nor do they consider how their drinking will affect the other people in their lives. But he was back at the hospital within the hour and he slept on that rediculously tiny hospital couch all night. Fine. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. I hope you haven't given up on this post. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Then I proceeded to time them for an hour (so he could continue sleeping). I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. We went for a lot of walks. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? -Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! Ouch. Your husband has to submit to you during your childbirth becauae you are the patient and you will be exposed. men are so egomaniacal in general. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. He was driving me to hospital in his Mustang Cobra, and we got caught in traffic over a bridge. It was our first child. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. After They told me I wasnt going back home, I called him and relayed the info. Jackass. I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. The tendency to hide their problems is also a common characteristic among alcoholics. My contractions are 1-2 min apart at this point. "When I [give] with just with my doula and midwife alone, I can allow myself to do whatever is needed to get the baby out," she says. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. Miscarriage @ 6w3d in December 2009. http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/heysupnatalie/?action=view. After Amy Lam prematurely went into labor and gave birth to their baby at home, her husband, Gilbert Kwok, thought the worst was over. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . It wasnt until I went into labor in the middle of the night that I realized he dropped the ball. So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. I. Mortified. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior?